Losing 100 Again

Wow, its been a long time since I’ve been back to tumblr. Over the last year I went as high as 272 and am now back to about 260. I am ready to start it up again.

I’ve found some success with removing wheat and most grains from my diet. I started in November and did well through the holidays. I’ve struggled in the last week though. We had a nasty snow storm, I was very stressed and I ate starchy carbs like nobody’s business. I’m not happy about that and am now trying to “detox” mildly so I can get back to the 254 I was at just a few weeks ago. The best part about not eating grains is that its easy once you get going. I feel full and satisfied after I eat, then I don’t over eat. My moods are more balanced. My head feels clear. My stomach isn’t gassy.

I’ve been attending a parenting class and have been thinking a lot about what I do as a parent and as a person. In class, we’ve been learning about how you teach responsibility. You can’t tell someone to be responsible, you must show them how and let them experience it. Not only that, but you must learn how to take responsibility for your actions and the consequences for that. I was thinking about this idea and comparing it to my weight problem.

How can I not only lose my excess weight, but keep it off. Was I shown how to do this and did I experience it growing up? After pondering this for a bit, I realized that I was only shown how to gain weight and how to diet. I never saw an effective model of how to maintain a weight loss. I continued to see food used as a comfort and a crutch, not for nourishment. Am I taking responsibility for my weight gain? After all, every single calorie that entered my body was put there by my own hand. 

I hate having to wear plus size clothing because I’m to fat for the regular stores. I hate shopping at Lane Bryant. Don’t get me wrong, the store itself is a fine clothing store and I’ve been glad they sell larger size clothing that are decent looking. I want to pick up clothes at any store, not just specialty stores like Lane Bryant.

This blog is about my journey back to a healthier weight.

I have struggled with my weight as long as I can remember. I went on my first diet at 12 and been 318 pounds at my highest. I have lost and gained large amounts over my lifetime. Over the past year my weight has climbed back up to 260 and I’m sick of it. I am going to wear smaller clothing. These are my rambling thoughts on this journey back to wearing a large.